Weavers Story Bank

Understanding how the system works

My father’s health was getting progressively worse, and his needs were quickly increasing as I tried to find additional in home support. Eventually he ended up in hospital, and it was then clear he was unable to return home. After some issues, the hospital found him residential care in a facility near us. He lived there for around 9 months and passed away.
I thought seeing as I worked in the industry and understood it, it would be relatively simple to organise support. This wasn’t the case. I would take a day off per month to ring around different service providers. I was told I had more chance of winning the lottery than getting a home care package.

My brother lives overseas so couldn’t provide much assistance and my wife works, and so it was very limiting of who could do anything. The fact that I work in the industry makes me an obvious choice. Everyone looked to me to find the solution.

I drew on support from providers. Thank god for DVA – without their help, it would have been an absolute disaster. The family rallied around and did what they could, but it was difficult. The main problem was my father’s immobility, it was impossible to move him.

Having a good relationship with the family GP was also key. They can start to identify and flag options available and give you an understanding of the procedures and processes you need to do as things deteriorate.

Being able to have discussions and debriefs with my wife was helpful to brainstorm what to do and what options were available as we traveled on the downward spiral.

Being prepared and understanding the fact that as you age, things aren’t likely to get better. You might be able to hold the line, but there’s going to come a time sooner or later where something needs to be done. My strategy is to try and be prepared before it takes control of you.

The MyAged website is a good resource and they are continually looking to make this better and user friendly, to point people more accurately and quickly in the right direction. Much better than being on the phone all day.

I see that it’s hard to appreciate what it is like until you have been through an experience like this. And that all the caring journeys will be different. When you work in the industry, you assume firstly that you know, and secondly the pathway is relatively obvious. Having thought that, I found the experience to be totally opposite.