My mum was 80 when she passed; she had a fantastic life, which brings me comfort.

My name is Sharon. I was the sole carer for my mother throughout her cancer. She got sick quickly and was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a bone cancer in April of 2007. I didn’t know anything about it at the time I had to do so much research; I’m glad I did this and would recommend others to stay informed. She was 79 years old, but despite her age when we heard the word cancer it was a shock for her and me. I wasn’t in denial but I did try to block it out. I was an only child and we were very close, I feel like she accepted the diagnosis better than I did in many respects. I learnt that I just had to deal with it because I had to, I couldn’t change anything.

I felt lucky because she was so strong. Despite her age she was determined to beat it and truly believed she would. It was hard when we realized that she wasn’t going to win. And then on top of this you have to deal with all the little things that happen to your health because your immune system is low. For instance she got a gallstone that she needed to have removed. This was a routine surgery but for her it resulted in infections.

You have to keep calm, which is hard when all you want to do is panic. You have to suck it up and get on with it. You have to talk about it during as well as after they are gone! You have to get things out. You need to talk to someone who can engage in these big issues, someone who can empathize. Not pity but someone who can listen, pity is the last thing you want! Someone who can say “I understand.” My mum was 80 when she passed; she had a fantastic life, which brings me comfort.