Weavers Story Bank

How do I keep dad from breaking the dishes?

Answered by Sharon, daughter of Paul

What I tried…

  • Dad has dementia and kept breaking dishes while doing the washing up every night. We had over 30 plates broken!
  • I found another role he could help with around the house – folding laundry – and made sure to tell him how helpful he was being.

What I said…

  • Rather than abruptly telling Dad he couldn’t do the dishes, I reframed the situation.
  • I told him that if he cut himself while I wasn’t home he could get seriously injured and no one would be there to help.
  • Then instead of taking the task away completely I replaced it, I asked him if he could fold the clothes saying that it would be such a huge help if he could that instead.
  • Getting him to do something familiar meant it was something Dad could manage to do.

What I thought about…

I had to remind myself to be patient. It was getting rather frustrating – and expensive. It was easy to over react and try and prevent him from doing anything around the house, but I realised that he might feel worse.

A bit more about me and my caring situation…

I moved from New Zealand with my husband  to look after my Dad 4 years ago. When he could no longer live on his own anymore, we insisted Dad move in with us. His dementia has worsened over the years, but we try to support him.