How do I help my aunt feel at home with me?

Answered by Sue, who looks after her great aunt

What I tried…

When my aunt moved in, both of us felt overwhelmed, and frankly a bit put out. She felt it wasn’t her space. I felt she was taking over some of mine. Neither of us had any money, but we wanted to make it feel like we had a shared space.

We decided to do some ‘home improvement’ projects together – really small stuff that we could point to and say we both had choice there!

• We went to Op shops to find a new house item – we fell in love with some old candle sticks!
• We went to Office Works and blew up some nice photos of our family to put on the wall
• We swapped some of our old books for newer ones – at the Oxfam Second Hand Book Shop and bought a few of our favourite movies to watch together
• We bought a few new indoor plants for my aunt’s room so she felt she had something to look after.

What I thought about…

I tried to put myself in my aunt’s shoes – rather than just think about what a huge disruption this was to my life (which it was!). What would it be like to have to move out of your own home and into someone else’s? How could I help her feel a bit more in control of the situation? And how could we have some fun with it all?

A bit more about me and my caring situation

I’m in my 60s and look after my 92 year old great aunt. She and I always had a good relationship growing up, and I was the only family member still living near by her. My aunt is getting increasingly frail – and needs help showering and eating. But, she can still crack some great jokes.