The most helpful thing I did for myself was seek support, as it just felt all too much!

Hi I’m Betty my husband has Psoriatic Arthritis, its kind of like psoriasis but it attacks his bones, skin and immune system. This came up for us nearly 20 years ago when we thought he had eczema. We went to all sorts of doctors before we got a diagnosis. It wasn’t until he started having pain in his bones that we found out what was happening.

It can be quite embarrassing for him as he will often lose a lot of skin, I make him wear light coloured clothes, so he doesn’t feel like people are looking at him like he is diseased in public, because trust me they do. I was surprised at how overwhelming caring was for me; the most helpful thing I did for myself was go to a psychologist, as it just felt all too much! I think I must have been presenting better to others than I was because when I went to our long-term family GP asking to be put on a mental health plan, he almost laughed at me at first. However then he gave me a test and realised it would be helpful. My psychologist was able to give me some tips and tricks using cognitive behavioural therapy and these strategies have helped me immensely. It is good to have some tricks up your sleeve that help you to put some boundaries into your caring role, especially knowing when it is ok to say no, I put encouraging notes to myself on an app in my phone so when I have had to say no I can look at these and they remind me why. I would encourage anyone else to make sure they seek support for themselves as well.